Monday, August 5, 2013

Flying Solo

Being single is not the norm.  
Following Christ is the narrow road.  
Being single and a Christian...whoa! 
Looks like I am just trying to be different, huh?
I'm really not!  I have always been a main-streamer.  But not so much with this.  These are just a few things my life consists of these days, relating to following Christ as a single thirty-something. 

It is so easy to live a secret life as a single person. I have to choose to expose myself and live in the light.    This is why I have chosen to really press into the body of Christ.  This is why I have an extremely high level of accountability.  This is why I love my friends with my whole heart.  This is why I have chosen consistency over fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. I need to be known. 

I will not be meeting my future husband at a bar.  And that is where the majority of single men hang out.  I choose to hold out and trust God for his very best, and something tells me his best isn't across the street at Lucy's Afterlife.   

It is UNBELIEVABLY easy to be self-centered.  We all struggle with this, I know.  God has designed me to be a thinker, an over-analyzer, and introspective person. So I can absolutely drive myself crazy, make something out of nothing, and forget there is a world out there.  Let me reiterate, I am selfish. 

There just aren't many people in the same boat.  God has put me in a place in my life that I don't necessarily feel like I have to be empathized with to feel understood.  The people I am choosing to surround myself with have one goal in mind: to know the true and living God. No matter race, marital status, background, whatever.  And you do not have to be single to do that.  As long as seeking God remains my goal, I will feel understood. But, if my goal shifts back into "FIND HUSBAND NOW MODE", I will feel misunderstood. 
These are just a few of the realities:
Sanctification means being set aside for holy use.  Sometimes, as single adults,  it feels like we are simply being set aside.  
We can upset the balance at a dinner table.  It can make for a really awkward situation if there is a married couple and me, and the wife has to leave the room.   
Seating at weddings can be ruined by a few single adults.  
And then, of course, the you-are-single-and-so-is-he scenario.  
Being single can feel shameful at times.  
The worst is when you are asked if you are dating someone, you tell them "no" and their response is a head tilt and a sad face with an "I'm sorry".  

Do not be sorry. 

 Singleness is not a period of waiting.  It is living.  It is giving.  It is availability.  It is good. 

 Do not hear me say that I want to stay single forever.  Some days, the longing for my own family physically hurts. Days that families spend together are usually cleaning and gym days for me.  Cooking for one is dang near impossible. I used to (and still do)  wonder if I have the gift of singleness.  The answer is yesToday, I have the gift of singleness. (Somedays, it is a gift I want to give back...) Will I have it forever?  Only God knows. So to live in the moment, enjoy God, pursue holiness, and "to make the most of every opportunity because the days are evil" (Ephesians 5:16) means to embrace it. And to become the most internally beautiful bride for my maker. I want to be pleasing to him.  To be anxious for him only. 

"And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit."
1 Corinthians 7:34 
"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."
 Psalm 16:5-6

He is my portion.  And he is good.  

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