Friday, June 21, 2013

Put Off, Put On. Repeat.

Many things come up in a day that can (if I allow it) take me back to my past.  But sometimes it is a good and healthy reminder that I never want to go back. 
For example, my old email. (don't stop reading--I know it sounds dumb)

 When I left treatment and tried to sign into my old email address, I could not, for the life of me, remember the password.  So, I created a new one.  But just the other day, it clicked and I remembered.  So 5,064 emails later, I was overwhelmed.  But mostly at the "sent" folder. There was a hurting young lady with absolutely no hope.  She was crying out for help and trying to appear "together".  But with no intimacy whatsoever.  She hid behind the eloquent words typed out and sent.  She was longing for a way out.  And this seemed to be the only way that she could communicate, because to be in face-to-face contact with another human being was surely too much. 
God is in the details. 

I don't know the protection that was over me not remembering that password when I left treatment.  Maybe I would have communicated with old friends?  Maybe I would have wallowed in guilt of the content of those emails and not been able to move ahead with this abundant life that he promised me in him.
I don't know. 
And I don't have to know. 
I am just thankful.  Whatever the reason behind me not remembering that old password, I am thankful.  I do not know who that girl was behind those old emails in that 'sent' folder.  It is not who I am anymore. I am no longer wearing my own dirty robe.  I am clothed in his righteousness. 
He is changing me.
"...assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus,  to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,  and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-23
"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20
Please know that I realize that not everyone's story is like mine. 
(Because how BORING would that be if we all followed the same suit?  Praise God for differences!) 

It is evident that I had given myself over to the world because the sin of my past has manifested itself mostly outward.
But every single one of us needs a Savior.  That is the commonality of us all. 
We are all born apart from this wondrous thing called grace.  And that is the only thing that can bring us into a right relationship with Jesus.  None of us deserve it. 
 And none of us can earn it. 
We all have to put off our old self day-by-day. One phrase that often comes up in recovery circles that I love is "one day at a time". 
We must die to our old selves AND LEAVE IT BEHIND (even something as silly as old email addresses that can potentially lead us back into sin), and put on our new selves, in Christ...and RUN.  Run this race that is set before us, throwing off every weight and the sin that so easily entangles.  (Hebrews 12:1-2)

(...and I finally got to delete that old email address!)

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