There are 2 days that I really dread every year.
And they just so happen to fall within 2 weeks of each other.
The first being the ever-so-hated-by-singles Valentine's Day.
And the second being my birthday.
Now, I am sure Valentine's Day comes as no surprise to you, if you know me and my desires for marriage and a family.
But, my birthday? That one may seem a little odd.
But after spending many hours hashing this out with The Lord, journaling, and asking myself "why?" and getting to the root of the issue, I see that it all boils down to the same exact thing:
the expectation of being made much of.
This is not a post to hate on Valentine's Day, as I am sure it is a holiday that many of you love and enjoy...and you should! It is a day set aside for chocolates, flowers, cards and a whole-lotta red and pink! It is a time to show that special someone just how special they are (and who doesn't want that?!)
And, I really used to love Valentine's Day so much.
My dad & brothers would send me flowers and balloons and candy every year! My mom always made a big to-do of me on Valentine's Day. It was so much fun because it was about ME!
And my birthday...whoa. It was like a week long event.
I made sure everyone knew it was my birthday for weeks prior.
Okay, and weeks after.
But as I have gotten older, it isn't so cool for your family to send Valentine's balloons, cards, or candy.
And turning 33 just doesn't have the same ring to it as turning say, 7 or 8.
There just seems to be so much hype around both days.
I have learned a lesson in humility from the snow about both of my dreaded days approaching.
There was so much anticipation of the snow coming yesterday.
I even had envisioned the power going out and me sitting in my living room floor with candles, my lantern, a book, and a jar of peanut butter for days.
I did all of my laundry because who would want to have laundry piled if there was a power outage? We all made preparations just-in-case.
And then the snow came!
And it was indeed beautiful.
I even slept with my blinds open because I wanted to see it as I dozed off!
I didn't want to miss a single flake falling to the ground.
But when I woke this morning, it was melting.
And in that moment, The Lord was so gentle and compassionate with my heart.
He reminded me that anything that I make much of other than him will fade away, just as the snow. Birthdays. Valentine's Day. Christmas.
Even a much anticipated wedding day.
All of these days are days to be celebrated indeed.
But, if I make any of these days about anything other than him, I will be disappointed.
If I make Valentine's Day about a significant other, rather than my eternal love, it will melt away.
The flowers fade.
The chocolates get eaten.
The red even fades.
All of those things are so fun and important on February 14.
But how long do they stay important?
If I make my birthday about me and not about the one who created me, it will melt away.
The balloons pop.
The cake gets devoured.
The Birthday cards get tossed, inevitably.
Again, those things are of the utmost importance on March 2. But on March 3? Not as much.
...but the word of The Lord stands forever..."
I am so thankful that God is so intimate and personal, even in the times that we should be celebrating, but instead we are dreading.
He gives new perspectives.
He uses everything to show us himself.
Even the beautiful snow, that melts.
And my prayer is that I can make much of Jesus.
More of him, less of me.